Last spring there began a sort of surging in me to experiment, to push what I was relying on and try other formats and mediums. When I feel this sort of urging I’m learning to question it less and leap more. All summer I diddled, dawdled and gathered ideas, techniques and avenues to explore when the winds of the fall academic season allowed me more time and energy to pursue them.
Sometimes I don’t always understand why I feel so compelled to paint this or that or why I feel restless until I capture a certain image. . .There are times when I have no idea what I’m doing. . .But, what I do know is that when I give myself the freedom to fail I find all manner of understanding.
This gift, the license to fall down, is a process of letting go. Letting go of what others think of what I’m doing or of truly embarrassing myself and instead listening to the still small voice that energizes my weary muscles to do that which I feel utterly compelled to do. . .this is the space I’m learning to occupy.
After I relaxed into this acceptance, hundreds of ideas poured forth, more than I could ever create in a lifetime. Even better, as I continue to nourish this voice in my spirit, I can scarcely see the end to the possibilities. I heard a quote recently that speaks to this phenomenon by Karin Bergquist from Over the Rhine, “Sometimes you have to really work for it and sometimes they are like little gifts and you feel like. . . if your taking care of what I call your signal. . . that part of you, it stays open and you can just tune in and receive these little gifts. . . “
Here’s to open signals and enjoying yourself!
*Painting is my own, an in-progress shot of A New Way of Seeing