a turn for the worse

There is a turning my “self” wants to make. . .a steady curving inward. . .until at last I am suffocating by the ever tightening grip like a boa constrictor.  When I finally break free with the remedy of praise. . . eyes lifting up, heart turning out, mind steadfast on joy. . .the release is intoxicating and full. 

This year, winter has brought many sorrows, changes and pains, but I’ve come out, maybe not on the other side for there never will be that in this life, but perhaps steadily through it, still filled with wonder and fire, certainly not from me.  I care not to dwell on my “self” today, this may change in a blink, which is why I cannot release myself from this indulgent prison.  I need a holy lifting each day, each moment, a dying to my worries, fears, desires and a consistent absorbing of outward-turning trust and freedom.

But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.  For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life.  Who is sufficient for these things?  For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God’s word, but as  men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.  2 Cor 2:14-17

**painting Matthew-Consider the Lilies by Makoto Fujimura


One thought on “a turn for the worse

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s