That’s how I feel right now. Confident with a question mark. I’ve mentioned on here that I’ve been pursuing painting more seriously lately and well its led me to take some pretty big and scary steps towards a life dream of mine. One day as I was checking our email my heart stopped for a moment, restarted(all figuratively of course, no worries), and then kept pounding faster and more furiously than before. All this happened because the email was an invite to a local artists’ group that was going to be discussing the whole gallery exhibition process, artists statements, proposals, cold call info, with this all leading up to an actually exhibition for those who wanted to participate. I knew as unready as I felt that I had to make a go of it if I ever wanted to push myself, plus it was free! So I went and felt like a total ding dong the whole time(I think I still had mommybrain), but was so encouraged to be learning about this mysterious process.

This group just met again last night and we discussed each other’s works. Before I left, Eddy had to practically kick me out of the house because I kept stalling, but nothing is as scary as it seems once its over. People responded extremely well to the pieces I brought in and the curator of the gallery we will be exhibiting in said he really liked my “graphic sensibility.”(not exactly sure what that means, but I’m flattered). I got some great tips for presenting them and I left proud of myself for doing something so completely out of my comfort zone. It has been such a private process up until now with Eddy as the only viewer, becoming vulnerable like that was really almost sickening. But, I’m going to have my stuff in an actual exhibition in early November! Ahhhhh! Which pieces we still don’t know but I’m thrilled for the opportunity and love connecting with other artists. I do have some stuff online but for anonymity’s sake on the blog, if you want to view them just email me and I’ll send you the link.

3 thoughts on “confident?

  1. I can TOTALLY identify with your feelings of unpreparedness and uncertainty as an artist in situations like you experienced last night! But God always has a way of bringing out our natural talents even when we feel like we’re sticking out like a sore thumb amongst a group of “real artists”.

    This past January we really felt the Lord was calling us to take a HUGE step of faith for our family. I quit my full time in-house graphic design job to start freelancing out of the house so I could have more flexibility to be available for the kids, etc. When I put in my two week notice I felt so confident that we were making the right choice, but then when it came time to “get out there” and pursue more freelance design opportunities I felt like I had absolutely NO direction. I remember sitting in my office at home thinking, “Who in their right mind would hire ME to design something for them?”. It took me a couple of months of serious prayer and soul searching before I finally realized that it wasn’t about who I contacted or how many work samples I sent out, God knew what type of work I could handle and what types of projects best fit me.

    I’ve been so amazed to see how God has brought clients to me and given me creative ideas beyond what I ever thought possible. He is good and He honors those who seek Him and truly want to use their gifts to serve Him!

    I’ll be praying for you as you prepare for your show in November and work through all the details! It’s difficult to switch from “mommy mode” to “artist mode”, so I’ll be praying that you’re able to make the switch easily, too! : ) I’ve really enjoyed following your blog and catching up with what’s going on with you guys.

    Take care!

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