Poopy-Diaper Nannies Wanted. Apply here.

There are just some days when I wake up and think I’d rather not ever see another diaper again. Like today. Josiah has already pooped twice and we are only halfway through the day.

Usually, I numbly go through the day changing the worst of the worst without even blinking, its my job, the one I signed up for and chose and have truly embraced with joy. After all, as weird as this may sound, seeing them all naked there on the changing table has always reminded me of how vulnerable and helpless they really are. It sort of rights me on days when I feel like they are taking over my life. But there are definitely mornings like today when we all sat eating our breakfast on the couch(bad mistake not to be replicated tomorrow) and I notice the familiar concentrating faces and grunts. Then Emma says it, “Pooped? Baba(pointing at her bottom), ouch. Pooped, yah?” Josiah points at his bottom, too, and chimes in, “Ba ba, pipped.” Wonderful.
I’m often asked if they ever go at the same time. The answer is most of the time its within the same hour, but sometimes, yes, its at the same time. Go figure.

I sort of briefly wondered to myself, do you think they can sit here in their filth for a few more minutes while I allow the caffeine to sufficiently fill my veins? Then fear of the state coming in and confiscating my children quickly motivate me to herd everyone up the stairs to the inevitable battle ground of the changing table. (Why do they fight it so? When asked if they want their diapers changed they always say yes, so why when I’m doing what they want do they kick and scream like I’m torturing them. Who really knows, the wonderful multiple personalities of toddlers, I suppose. )

These are the days when I’d like to hire a Poopy-Diaper Nanny. Just for a day or two, till I get my stomach back or I’m numb enough for the job again. I think it would take a certain person to do this, like a nurse or something, who is used to seeing yucky things and can swoop in like Mary Poppins(I guess we’d call her Mary Poopins, ha-ha) to save me.

Anyway, it all makes me wish they could use the toilet instead. Not that I’m really that excited for that whole process to begin, cuz I’m not, but the grass always has to be greener someplace else, right.

I changed the format of the website a while back. Looks a little more minty fresh to me.

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